The FAQ

We've compiled a list of Frequently Asked Questions to provide you with all the answers you've been searching for all these years. Now you can put your perverse curiousity to rest and get to know the real Mike.

• Does Mike even live in Thailand?
• Does Mike speak Thai?
• Does Mike use hair plugs?
• Why did Mike start this site?
• Is Mike half Thai?
• Is Mike an avid drinker?
• Does Mike dance?
• Is Mike a model?
• Is Mike an actor?
• Is Mike a mineral?
• Can I contact Mike for advertising opportunities?

Does Mike even live in Thailand?
Unlike many farangs who masquerade as expats Mike really is stably employed in Bangkok. All reviews and postings are based on Mike's first-hand accounts of each venue however bear in mind that any references to people and places are purely coincidental as the Ekamai Thonglor Zone is actually a figment of his imagination. Seriously though...yeah he lives here.

Does Mike speak Thai?
Although Mike has mastered many dialects and languages including Khmer, Laos, Issan, Tagalog and Bahasa, Mike's Thai still needs work. Socially Mike's Thai is about 80% of which 90% is made up of inappropriate phrases, curse words and MK song lyrics. If you're looking for a Dim Sum menu in Thai, Mike's your man.

Does Mike use hair plugs?
Mike's fur is 100% natural and although it appears flawless it is actually kept together with a series of pulleys, cables and counterweights delicately balanced with a generous helping of bacon fat.

Why did Mike start this site?
As an expert in many areas including fences, latrines and tree bark, Mike was frequently called on to suggest party destinations for tourists and locals. This knowledge has been extended to a larger audience free of charge for the purpose of shameless self-promotion.

Is Mike half Thai?
Although Mike's mother claims his father is actually half Native American, Mike is 100% Canadian. Any resemblance to Thai features is thanks to Thai brand whitening cream and several years of som tum. In fact Mike's heritage is predominantly Scottish and although he has foregone the kilt for stylish pants he maintains the commando position on undergarments.

Is Mike an avid drinker?
Actually Mike seldom drinks in excess instead leveraging the anti-aging properties of diet Coke. He prefers natural brain cell reduction accelerated only by the looney tune farangs he hangs out with in Bangkok.

Does Mike dance?
Cutting a rug is definitely one of Mike's favorite past-times although after years of struggling to become a coyote dancer Mike has resorted to a more practical outlet using fitness classes and aerobics at the gym.

Is Mike a model?
Yet another failed career path for Mike, this attempt started in some lame fashion shots of men's underwear for Wal-mart and ended in tears over who got to keep the underwear after the shoot. Mike continues to be open to opportunities and can be contacted for any serious, semi-serious, or simply ludicrous modeling requests.

Is Mike an actor?
No but he does play one on TV. Often told he bears a striking resemblance to Gary Coleman and frequently mistaken for countless background musicians Mike's TV appearances have been limited to several wedding videos and a series of shorts he and his acting guild produced in high school.

Is Mike a mineral?
Previously there was another Mike living in Canada that has since been replaced with animatronics. Aside from that any comments reflecting inanimate objects being compared to Mike is purely metaphorical.

Can I contact Mike for advertising opportunities?
Absolutely! Simply send him an email and he would be thrilled to discuss opportunities for cross-advertising, endorsements, recommendations, reviews, etc. Contact Mike.