Back in Bangkok

After two weeks of Eastern European exposure with the old man I'm craving Thailand like a priest at an all girl's school. The country is great and incredibly scenic but I have to wonder how the people here have managed to reproduce for so long. The tourist industry delivers service so cold it's on par with that of Tony Soprano minus the 9 iron. I had about as difficult a time trying to get a smile as my constipated grandmother has trying to squeeze out a steamer and probably faced about the same amount of grunting. At least dad and I had early starts that left us tired and in bed before midnight almost every night; far better than my regular routine of staying out until stupid o'clock in Bangkok. As for the ladies...well they've started to follow the inevitable Oprah endorsed pattern set by the western world which means size 14 is the new 8. Um, sorry ladies, blame the pants all you want but it's your fat that makes your ass look fat. If I ever meet the inventor of stretch pants I'll make the Incredible Hulk look like a fat kid with indigestion throwing a tantrum.

In fairness I have seen a few, last count about 10, that do fall in the category of hot and deserve a 5 chili rating, but I found myself craving the friendliness of Thailand. I forgot that Thai culture can be so familiar and inviting like a warm toilet seat on a cold night. Perhaps I've lost my charm with the fairer skinned variety or more likely Eastern Europeans have lost their way in a world that demands service first (and in Thailand...pay later). Hopefully I can confirm my hypothesis when I'm back to my regular frustrating minority role tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.